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The Dream Thieves
Maggie Stiefvater
The Forever Song (Blood of Eden, #3)
Julie Kagawa
Falling Under - Gwen Hayes I have to admit: sometimes (often) I pick up books just because I like the cover art. This one in particular reminded me of American Beauty, so I couldn't resist.ALERT: this is going to be bitchy.I threw this book before even finishing the first chapter.Why?Because I've already cringed my teeth four times in the first three pages. And that's too much.I'm going to show you what I mean.The protagonist is on the bed, reading from her iPhone. And she speaks about her love for books:Every night I went somewhere new and pretended to be someone else—someone interesting—Sniff sniff... I'm smelling author's personal issues, here.But the burning man falling from the sky pulled me from my faraway world.You don't say. Really?Here I was depicting in my head this dumb chick, daydreaming on her bed with a vacuous expression on her face, when a burning man falls from the sky screaming his head off, and she just turns her head and says vapidly "Oh, a burning man falling from the sky."Maybe that's not the image the author wanted to give, but it's what she delivered.He was more than on fire. He was fire.And what's the difference? Bho, the author doesn't tell. To me, he looked just like a man on fire.(...) but it was his eyes that caused me to suck in my breathOk. Reality check here: 1. he's burning; 2. he's falling from the sky; 3. you are looking at him through a window; 4. you are on the bed, supposedly at some distance from said window. How the fuck can you discern something about his eyes!?I leaned farther into the window, the glass surprisingly warm from his brush past it.Do you know what it takes to warm a pane of glass at a distance, say to increase it of 1°C (and you can't even perceive so small an increase)? It takes a fucking lot. Not just some miserable guy on fire falling from the sky and incidentally passing near the window for two seconds. If you haven't the common sense to guess that, do your research.When the man is fallen, she goes near him to help (but without actually doing something helpful). There is a short and improbable dialogue, and then:He rattled and spoke his last words. “Worth … the … fall.”Oh, because she is so beautiful and speshul (thanks, Kelly) that it was worth it to fucking be set on fire and be thrown from who knows what highness to precipitate on her fucking garden.What. The. Fuck.Have I already said "fuck" in this not-review!?I don't want to see this book kind of crap, ever again.I should put this on my "blacklist of bad books", but I pride myself on being honest and I can't honestly give an informed judgment about the book, because I haven't read it. I just can't. So I'm going to put this among my give-ups and you will have to make up your own mind.